“A” is for Away. There is much to be said about travel, and even more advice. There is, however, little said about how to handle the flood of emotions that overwhelm you, when you leave home for a foreign land and realize that it will be a long time before you return. I do not show emotion well, so I try not to show it at all, and instead remain stoic.
There are always the last minute things that I want to do, simply because it will not be posible to do them for some time. Everything from going shopping with my younger step daughter, to help her find an outfit for no particular reason or because I have incredible taste in teen aged / young women’s clothes (I don’t understand how I ended up with that as a talent), to just sitting with my “rat” in my lap. Suddenly, the task of playing Guitar Hero, which is a task because I was not given rhythm as a gift, is something I realize I will miss. Not because I dream of becoming a rock star, but because it is something that my oldest stepdaughter enjoys and I will not be able to rock out with her, long distance. Or like talking to my stepson on the phone and letting him know I miss him and wish he was in the same state so I would have a work out partner.
There are also the things that I realize I must do, because no one else can do them like they need to be done. Things like hold my wife and reassure her that she is fully capable of handling anything that can happen while I am away. Telling her that I love her and that I did not drag her away from her home of eighteen years on a whim. I say them in my head, at least. That counts, right?
Then, there are the things I wish I had time to do, but didn’t, because the call to go got moved back two days. I usually realize what things these are after I have already left. Vehicle maintenance, cleaning up the storage room, etc…
In no time at all, that life is all part of the past. It is now something wholly separate than the reality I now face day in and day out. I am boots on the ground, on the opposite side of the earth for the next year or so. There will be a gap in my family’s collective memory. We will share experiences over the Internet and through our writing, but they will not be lived together.
I am away.
I love it. And you.
It is amazing how things seemed to take forever, and then were over, before we even knew it.
This is one year out of so many. Eventually, this year will have been such a small part of our lives.
You are away Nate, but not gone. We miss your presence everyday. I am pretty sure we have gone to WWND.
Love ya B-Daddy!!
Wow. A twofer. I had no idea that BOTH of you could express yourselves this way. As always, looking forward to the next, even as savoring this one. Thanks.
Just Beautiful and overwhelming! But, don’t worry becuase like the time when past by so fast for him to leave, this same way the time will go by and you will have him back with you. This is what I have in my heart and mind, and is making the time go more easy. God Bless you all!
Insightful, to the daily grind of life in the service. The brotherhood of the selfless hero’s of our country. The pain of separation for loved ones, their and your sacrifice and the abilities to do your job just like generations past. You and your brothers remain hero’s, and a shinning example of the very best of America, your parents are proud of you.